We all know that one dude on the court during pickup games that takes it too far: unnecessary elbows, pulling of the shorts, shoves in the back on layups, relentless hacking and whatever else conceivable to piss you off beyond belief. Now, this is just pickup games where you’re not really playing for anything. When’s its an organized game whether high school, college, semi-pro, or pro; these things are magnified, but seemingly occur more often. However, there is a method to their madness: to get you from zero to the Malice in the Palace, expeditiously. And once they’re in your head, it’s dinner time.
Agitators aren’t new in sports, the NFL has Richard Sherman, MLB had John Rocker, NHL has every defensemen eligible, FIFA has, well, everyone, since they all dive (at an embarrassingly high rate), and the NBA has Patrick Beverley.
After watching many games (in utter frustration) and scouring through Youtube, I’ve come up with five solid reasons why the Houston Rockets’ resident pain in the ass is our next Bruce Bowen. That being said, in the context of defense this is honorable, but offensively it could be a quite offensive.
5. Both of them suck on offensive.
Let’s simply compare the stats of futility from the two. Bowen for his career shot an abysmal .409% from the field while his contemporary Beverley shoots .419%, although he’s only been in the league for three years. Conversely, Bruce Bowen was able to knock down that corner three with sniper-like accuracy, which is why he spent the latter part of his career standing in the corner virtually absent from the offensive sets. When all else fails, sit in the corner and wait to be noticed.
4. Glue Guys
Whatever task is at hand, they’ll do it. Players like Beverley and Bowen may lack in certain areas, but make up for it by putting pride aside and getting their hands dirty by diving on the floor from chasing down loose balls, taking on any defensive assignment, and grabbing those out-of-nowhere offensive rebounds. Glue guys are the grunts on the team, they’re vital to success.
And doing things like this:
3. Lockdown Defenders
You’ll hate them the minute they’re in your face breathing all in it, putting a forearm in your hip, constantly chest-bumping you, grabbing your arm or jersey when running off screens, having to always slap their hand off you when in the triple-threat position, and just having them follow you every damn step you take like a hungry dog; it’s actually what they are. As much as a nuisance they can be; this is what effective lockdown players do. It’s deep hatred that resonates in their DNA that won’t allow you to get a slither of shine.
2. They can both play dirty as hell.
We all know that most great defenders are dirtier than a bukkake shoot. And these two demons of destruction aren’t any different.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePtiNqJ0VPQ
Pure filth…
1. Wanna throws hands? They don’t want any parts.
Players like Beverley and Bowen will get you to the point were a parade of punches are in order, it happens. People lose their cool, and that is were Beverley and Co. get off. They love it. They feed off it. On the flipside, once you’re ready to have them meet their maker, they cower. It’s a beautifully sinister tatic that makes you the aggressor and in turn get a technical. Evil genius antics at its finest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omyIWIB8t1Y
And there you have it. If you happen to any inaccuracies or just disagree, let me know. I’d love you hear some of you thoughts, so I blindly think the contrary.
Images via: Getty
