Foolish is the music critic who refuses to kneel before ‘The Throne’ (Shawn Carter & Kanye West) which recently blessed society’s ‘lessers’ with the greatest collection of songs ever recorded: Watch The Throne—an extravagant ‘Rich N*gga Rap’-masterpiece dripping with champagne-flavored pomposity & pretentiousness.
OK, I’m lying…kinda, but that’s what critics are expected to say about a mega-hyped ‘event album’ hailed as a classic by thousands 15 minutes after its digital release. To me, Watch The Throne is one of the few critique-proof albums in Hip-Hop history. All eyes are on the throne to worship or frown upon it. It’s thee album of the moment and we’re all prisoners.
Sensationally-polished, Throne is lavish private jet music that adds three extra zeros to every listener’s bank account (“What’s 50 grand to a motherf*cker like me/Can you please remind me?” – Jay-Z). It’s high-end musical escapism; the wealthy-minded broke person’s soundtrack. I, personally, felt LESS BROKE listening to it. And that’s the point.
Tracks like Frank Ocean’s (official) introduction to mainstream relevancy “No Church in the Wild,” “Illest Muthaf*cka Alive” (Feat. 3 pretentious minutes of silence) & the [Insert Pusha T ‘Echk’ HERE]-worthy “N*ggas in France” (destined to make exotical Cannes hoes touch their toes) separate Throne from 99% of 2011’s rap releases.
Say what you want about Kanye & Hov’s reported ‘feud,’ Throne is HOV’s album…featuring Kanye West, who’s just happy to be rocking alongside Big Bro. At times, it’s like watching Mike Jordan score 60 points while Scottie Pippen shoots 4-17 from the floor.
Where Hov punished magnificent soundscapes (“I’m losing myself. I’m lost in the moment. I look in the mirror. My only opponent“), Kanye spit wretched struggle bars (“N*ggas talkin, they b*tch-made, Ix-nay off my d*cks-nay/that’s Pig Latin, itch-bay“) with the utmost arrogance. Yes. Kanye took 35195740567 steps back as an MC on Throne. Fight me.
Other cracks in the Throne include Queen Beysus’ unlistenable “Lift Off” hook, Kanye & Hov’s clash with Otis Redding on “Otis,” ‘odd’ usage of slang by middle-aged rap legends (Jay-Z: “I invented swag“/”I’m planking on a million” — Kanye: “Maybachs on bachs on bachs“/”DAT SH*T CRAY!”) & the incredibly-corny “Made in America” that sounds like Track #14 on the Get on the Bus Soundtrack.
Overall, Watch The Throne is a dope album (with a sonically-superb sound quality) that I imagine Uncle Scrooge would bang while breast stroking through his millions. Classic? NO. Insanely-overhyped? Absolutely, but that won’t matter to most music heads. Throne is ALL about the spectacle, and will serve as the rare ‘Where were you when the Throne dropped?’-moment for casual music heads. Admit it, Kanye & Hov are now…legendary. 3/4 stars. Cop the Deluxe version.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Def Pen Radio.
