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Beyonce’s Baby Bump, Celebrity Worship Culture & You

  • September 5, 2011
  • Def Pen

In today’s microwave society, celebrities are GODS amongst peasants & lessers, with Beyonce reigning as Queen of the Negronian universe. To many, she’s the eternal & everlasting light—co-inventor of swag; the Holy Trinity’s 4th deity—who performs with the passion of 1000 Creolian Warrior Princesses. And now, at age 37 29, she’s carrying the most important fetus since Michael Jackson Jesus Christ.

Well, not…really, but likely, based on the insanely-moronic reactions by strangers who’ve never breathed the same grade of oxygen as her. I mean, pregnancy is DOPE. Women glow & order one of everything off Wendy’s $1 menu for dinner. Beautiful. But what does Beyonce’s pregnancy have to do with you, me or her legion of sociopathic stans? And why is ‘Zanayshia in Queens’ more excited about this baby than the two sharing cans of Vienna sausages in her roach-infested kitchen?

Believe me, this isn’t the first nor last time a married woman gets impregnated by her husband. In fact, pregnancy is quite common among married couples in America. Seriously, how can one shed tears of sheer joy for the life inside a complete stranger’s womb? A stranger whose bodyguards would put you in ICU if you ever tried to touch the hem of her bedazzled garment?

See, I don’t have an issue with Team: BeyHive celebrating their (s)hero’s pregnancy. It’s America, and they’re blessed with the Constitutional right to do so. My issue is, more so, with celeb-obsessed adults who use their favorite entertainer’s life as a step-by-step guide for their own; adults who’d say: ‘Will & Jada split? OMG, NO! BLACK LOVE is DEAD. FOREVER.’ Yes, those people.

In their mind, Moscato is the wine of Kings, Loubous are the shoes of Queens and jeggings are the legwear of Legends. Why? Because their favorite celebs (who represent everything they hope & dream to be) declared so, in the name of Oprah. Pathetic, I know, but our reality in a world where rappers earn an 8th grade teacher’s yearly salary for a club appearance.

Believe me, I…understand (I’m lying). It’s your life & you can camp out in Bey’s uterus to watch the fetus if you want! Cool. But that’s classic idolatry, and I doubt Jesus turned water into Chardonnay for his people to worship artists with videos on the 106 & Park Countdown.

It’s true: Kanye inspired millions to rock Euro-couture blouses made from the finest Parisian silks join the ‘Fuk Skool, Follow Your Dreams’-movement, but that’s never a reason to get his Japanimated Teddy Bear mascot tatted on your chest and/or titties. Just my opinion, though, as someone who’d rather create my own golden legacy than worship someone else’s.

At some point, Doctors, Astronauts & Firemen became lame, along with school, reading books and high school diplomas. More kids want to be like Waka Flocka than Barack Obama. 10-year-old girls don’t want to feel their legs after playground sex. ‘Teen-thugs’ live fast, cherish money over b*tches & die young. Face it, celebs are raising America’s fatherless and/or poorly-mothered youth.

And that’s exactly why parents need to stop watching their idol’s throne & watch these damn kids. That way, they’ll teach them to find happiness in their own life, as an individual with their own thought processes & opinions, without living vicariously through complete strangers with carefully-crafted images.

Was Jay-Z’s pure joy when Bey performed during the VMAs priceless? Absolutely, but that has nothing to do with you & your relationship struggle. I may be wrong, but a grown woman shouldn’t have to poke holes in her boo’s condoms to (hopefully) find joy like Jay-Z & Beyonce. Why aspire to be like your ‘hero’ when you can be greater than them? Accept reality. Live YOUR life. Or die a clone.




Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Def Pen Radio.

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1 comment
  1. Nicole says:
    September 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    This was an interesting read. Honestly a large majority of people DONT feel the way that you portrayed in your article. Screencaps from the morons on twitter or comments from people who read blogs don’t represent a large amount of the people in society. And until you can show a correlation between Beyonce’s pregnancy and the rate of her fans getting pregnant this article lacks proof. I think Beyonce is one of the most popular celebrities today and a lot of WOMEN look up to her because she is like them, female. She is a mogul she has her clothing line, she sings well, she stays out of trouble, to some she is very beautiful/flawless whatever they want to say. I also feel that she has been in the music business for so long that people feel attached to her and follow her story. When Aaliyah passed tons of people lined the streets and sung her songs and watched her casket pass… even a better example would be MJ. Tons of people were devastated by his death. Did they know him? No. But through his music and whatever else people felt a connection to him just like they feel a connection to Beyonce. There is, however a difference between a connection and getting tattoos and doing all sorts of crazy things then calling yourself a fan though. I like Beyonce I have her CDs and I’m happy for her and “Jay-Z” but I won’t be trying to get pregnant or anything of the sort. Congrats to her and thats all!

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