For almost two decades Major League Baseball has suffered a plague. A plague that made us question baseball’s legitimacy. A plague that’s done such irreparable damage that a 13 year old girl has been the highlight of the sport. The name of this plague? Anabolic Steroids.
All it took was one whistle blower. Jose Canseco, The Chemist. His 2005 book Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, was a tell-all account of the unbridled use of performance enhancers in the Major League. In the book, Canseco claimed that over 85% of the league was using anabolic steroids, and more specifically…his teammates. Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, Jason Giambi, Ivan Rodriguez, and Juan Gonzalez were all tagged as Canseco’s juicy brethren. The book became a New York Time’s best seller and launched a series of league and federal investigations that til this day hasn’t ceased. Our most recent steroid news comes from the New York Yankee’s camp: Alex Rodriguez and Biogenesis. Yes, A-Rod was the culprit, but it seems as if the kingpin of steroids for a while now has been his “doctor” Anthony Bosch. Another whistle blown, another investigation, and yet another blow to baseball’s already tainted reputation.
Here’s the scary part of all this: Football seems to have been hit with a plague of its own. One that’s required no whistle-blower for attention. It’s so much more contagious than steroids that its airborne, literally and pun completely intended. Draftees, I’d like to welcome you to the National Pothead League.
Let’s begin with a list of individuals that have already had marijuana-use suspensions put on them this year:
Jerome Simpson
Dwayne Bowe
Reshad Jones
Eric Herman
Nigel Bradham
Chris Lewis-Harris
Lane Johnson
Ace Sanders
Spencer Nealy
Tanard Jackson
Dion Jordan
LaVon Brazill
Rokevious Watkins
Jayron Hosely
Daryl Washington
Will Hill
Frank Alexander
Brandon Moore
Jake Knott
Justin Blackmon
Josh Gordon
Yesterday we learned that Pittsburgh’s Le’Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount were pulled over and issued marijuana-related citations. Certainly the league will attach suspensions or fines to these two geniuses as well.
Myself along with some of my colleagues (whom all have played competitive football into our adult years) agree that what we’re seeing is only the tip of the iceberg. If 85% of baseball was using performance enhancers, 90% of football is using performance minimizers.
This is a completely different monster than what baseball had to endure. During the ‘Steroid Era’ players were crushing homeruns left and right, sending their fans into a testosterone induced mania. It was fantastic. Baseball was coming back and it was because of drugs. Inversely, football players are getting baked and sitting on their mom’s sofas, getting pulled over by the cops and fans are sent into a boredom induced burn-out.
My brother, a man who’s been a devout football fan for over 20 years, broke my heart yesterday. I quote:
“[Liverpool] is my wife’s team! We watched four EPL games last week. Between you and me I’m actually kind of burned out on the NFL right now and I’m kind of focusing more on soccer”
What on earth is a Liverpool? What is this obscure acronym he used? What is happening to my life? My best friend for my entire life has traded in football for futbol, and I’m sure his sentiments are being echoed nationwide.
What’s curious though is that I’m conflicted. Baseball players were being condemned for using performance enhancers. Substances that made the game bigger, stronger and faster. Pot will do the opposite, so should it really be banned? You don’t gain an unfair advantage when you consume cannabis. If anything, the non-users have the advantage. A terrible plight of cognitive dissonance punched me in the face last night.
For those of you that don’t know what cognitive dissonance is, I’ll give you Webster’s definition:
Psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously
Should the NFL really ban the use of marijuana? Will it damage the game? It hasn’t so far. Players are getting bigger, stronger and faster with every decade that passes. So it doesn’t seem like there’s any ill-effect. Smoke away studs!
Conversely, what kind of example would players be making if they all smoked pot openly? What if the league goes so “up-in-smoke” that more people like my brother get annoyed with the culture and switch sports completely? Why cant people just STOP smoking? I’m a mess.
The Conclusion to my Conundrum:
Your job is simple Josh Gordon: Catch balls. Don’t smoke.
The NFL’s transition into becoming the NPL is frightening. With concussion-related injuries becoming more concerning, and this pot-smoking culture becoming more prevalent – football is losing both fans and players daily.
No book was written, no whistle was blown. All they had to do was light one up and jam some Weezy.
